Celibacy: Being in touch with our feelings and emotions

To start with, let me begin my article with a short conversation of the Seminarian and the Rector of the seminary.

Seminarian: Msgr., murag dili gyud ko angayan mag pari kay dali ra man gyud ko mahigugma’g gwapa.

Rector: Mao ba dong? Aw okey ra man na! Ang kuyaw kung dali ra ka mahigugma og maot.

Living a celibate life, as agreed by most, is very difficult to practice inasmuch as human feeling is concerned. Feeling is indubitable in our life; it is undeniably intrinsic in us. Even before the time we are born, we are already dominated by feelings through our parents. It is indeed the main reason why we experience love, being loved, hurt, sad, or happy. We are primarily influenced by our feelings so much so that in the first glance we would directly assert that living a celibate life is very difficult to realize.  

Admittedly, as a seminarian aspiring to embrace the sacred priesthood, to live a chaste life, for the sake of Christ, is not easy as learning the alphabet or any mathematical equations. It is indeed a difficult endeavor. But then again, it doesn’t mean it cannot be realized. The difficulty of living a celibate life does not presupposes of something negative. Sad to say, many of us, if not all, misconceived the true essence of such virtue.

According to the CFC no. 1093, to live a life of chastity is tantamount to live a life having a purity of heart. In other words, the church demanded the clergy not to fall in love, rather the church encourage the clergy to love, but in a right and Christian way. In line with the premise above, the clergy must learn how to value love and to love itself, but in an inclusive way not in an exclusive way.  My point is, living a celibate life doesn’t mean we should stop loving. It does not mean we should stop listening to our feelings and emotions. Living a celibate life simply means to be in touch with our feelings and emotions. By doing so, we will know how to handle them and make them an instrument of evangelization. 

Finally, Rev. Msgr. Vicente Ray Pinagunda would say, “Celibacy is not a way of avoiding love. It is a way of loving.” Celibacy teaches us to become more loving, more caring, and more respectful. So much so that, celibacy helps us to deepen our understanding about love and bring us far away from the perils of our selfishness and aggressiveness. It helps us to a full realization of our mission; and that is to introduce Christ to all humanity. Furthermore, Priests who are called to embrace the celibate life is called to deepen their relationship with God through prayer. Celibacy is not just an outcome of personal endeavor. It is first and foremost a gift from God. No one can acquire it through own efforts. Thus, we have to have a constant dialogue with God through prayer.